7 Ideas to help you THINK critically and create solid arguments

1. Never Jump To Conclusions

When you jump to conclusions, you don't land appropriately.

You might break your nose.

Gather as much information as you can before making up your mind.

Don't nod your head for everything. Question it, man

2. Keep An Open Mind

Don't be biased.

Don't let your existing views blind you to new information.

Connecting the dots doesn't work every time. Be mindful.

Accept, analyze and respond.

3. Ask - "HOW?" If you're introduced to a new :-

- idea

- theory

- hypothesis

Always start with "HOW?"

• How does that happen?

• How was the evidence obtained?

• How does that work?

Knowing the HOW of something provides you with a spectrum of new questions.

It's fun.

4. Be Skeptical

People will :-

- make up new arguments.

- shoot you with conclusions.

- try to persuade you to believe what they believe in.

Always be skeptical & wonder about why they're doing it.They might be prey to cognitive biases.Watch out.

5. Logic vs Emotion

Emotions drive human efforts.But, they can manipulate you too. Especially, while thinking critically. Always ask if the argument is backed by emotion or logic. Be practical.

Encourage rational thought.

6. Don't be a SHEEP

Do you remember?

"In schools, if even a few used to agree to any statement, the whole class used to join in."

You're not obliged to do that. Sometimes the truth doesn't exist in the majority belief. Never accept views because others accept them. NEVER.

7. FACTS vs OPINIONS

FACT: a statement that can be proven right or wrong.

OPINION: expression of an individual's feeling that cannot be proven.

Being able to differentiate between both is a skill. Sometimes, opinion of an opinion is framed as a fact. Beware.

Pre-sleep routine

7.9 Billion people on Earth. Each one of them has a pre-sleep routine. Some do journals, some meditate, and some sleep while watching their favorite Netflix show. Only a few reflect upon their day. 3 Q's to ask yourself before sleeping to gain clarity & command of your life :-

1. What Wrong Did I Do Today?

Dwelling upon negatives is not a good practice before sleeping. It can make you anxious.

But, it is a good way to reflect upon your faults.

Everyone knows what they're doing wrong, but a few accept.

Give yourself feedback. Why wait for others?

2. What Good Did I Do Today?

Humans are ever-hungry for appreciation.

Why wait for others when you can do it for yourself?

Appreciating yourself for your good deeds will motivate you to do more of that.

- Pat your shoulders

- Cheer yourself up

- Show gratitude

3. What Did I Forget To Do?

We create a to-do list.

And, it remains unmarked.

I know how it feels.

Remind yourself of what you forgot to do.

Our mind creates a self-scheduled alarm for us.

Just ask yourself hard enough so that it gets programmed in your mind to remind it.

Sleep & Success

"Tonight, I will burn the midnight oil! I am going to study like a king. Won't sleep till I finish reading everything!"

I am sure many might have thought like this some or the other time during their student days.

Some might have even executed this.

But is it wise to sacrifice your sleep before exams?

Is it safe to do that?

.

Let's first understand why we think like this?

1. It's quite natural to think that if you sleep less, you will have more waking hours and therefore you will be able to study more.

2.Another thought behind this could be your belief that "Sleeping is a luxury or sleeping is a sign of laziness"

3. Or it could be due to certain beliefs passed on to us like,

"Dreams are not what you see in sleep,

Dreams are something that don't let you sleep!"

Clearly sleeping implies, you are a careless, lazy person according to such beliefs! But such toxic positivity is actually biologically unsustainable.

Having a good sleep routine, taking proper rest is the key to achieving sustainable 'success' in any field.

If you think you can do well by all of a sudden reducing your sleep drastically right before exams, then it's a myth. I can tell you this from personal experience too.

When you don't sleep well, it becomes difficult to be focused, alert and difficult to recall the material already learnt.

Not sleeping also leads to poor memory consolidation.

Sleep deprivation has many far-reaching physical and mental health outcomes.

Remember, no wars are won by practising on the last day! Same goes for exams or other important things in life.

So don't unnecessarily sacrifice on your sleep last moment and harass your body unnecessarily. Trust the processes and stick to it.

Don't change your sleeping habits right before exams.

Also, don't self prescribe medicines for inducing sleep.

If you have difficulty sleeping, contact a Psychiatrist near you.

Don't worry, Psychiatrists don't just offer sleeping pills. That's a myth for another day.

THE MARSHMALLOW EXPERIMENT

In 1960s, Stanford Professor Walter Mischel conducted a series of experiments which became famous by the name of MARSHMALLOW EXPERIMENT.

During his experiments, Mischel and his team tested hundreds of children — most of them around the ages of 4 and 5 years old — and revealed what is now believed to be one of the most important characteristics for success in health, work, and life.

Each child was taken into a private room and a marshmallow was put on the table in front of them.

At this point, the researcher offered a deal to the child.

The researcher told the child that he was going to leave the room and that if the child did not eat the marshmallow while he was away, then they would be rewarded with a second marshmallow.

However, if the child decided to eat the first one before the researcher came back, then they would not get a second marshmallow. So the choice was simple: one treat right now or two treats later.

The researcher left the room for 15 minutes.

Many of the children consumed the marshmallow within the time the researcher left and returned.

However, some of them did manage to wait till the researcher arrived and they got their second Marshmallow as a reward.

The children who were willing to delay gratification and waited to receive the 2nd marshmallow ended up having higher SAT scores, lower levels of substance abuse, lower likelihood of obesity, better responses to stress, and better social skills.

It can be seen in day to day life as well.

If you delay the gratification of consuming alcohol with your freinds, you will go home and eat something healthy.

If you delay the gratification to constantly have an argument with someone over trivial matters, you will have time to learn better and more useful things.

A growing body of literature has linked the ability to delay gratification to a host of positive outcomes, including academic success, physical health, psychological health, and social competence.

"TOXIC POSITIVITY"

Toxic Positivity is the suppression of real, negative emotions through phrases like:

• “Be positive!”, “Cheer up!” or “Look on the bright side!”

• “Get over it” or “Move on.”

• “It’s all going to be okay” or “Everything is going to work out.”

Such statements are often well-intentioned—people just don't know what else to say and don't know how to be empathetic. Still, it is important to recognize that these responses can be harmful.

Toxic Positivity is a "good vibes only" approach to life. And while there are benefits to being an optimist and engaging in positive thinking, toxic positivity instead rejects difficult emotions in favor of a cheerful, often falsely positive, facade.

The problem is that life isn't always positive. We all deal with painful emotions and experiences. Those emotions, while often unpleasant, are important and need to be felt and dealt with openly and honestly.

The “positive vibes only” can be particularly grating during times of personal distress. When people are coping with situations like financial troubles/job loss/illness/loss of a loved one, being told that they need to look on the bright side can seem downright cruel.

If you are flippantly or unwittingly using such platitudinal statements in your daily life then may be its time to improve your vocabulary and be more genuine and empathetic while talking about your or other's feelings.

Here's why Toxic Positivity can be harmful-

1. It invalidates any emotion other than positive ones.

2. It makes a person feel guilty for having certain emotions.

3. It avoids genuine empathy and human connection

4. It prevents us from growing.

5. Emotions left unprocessed can lead to mental health problems in the future.

Here's what you can say instead of resorting to toxic positivity!

If you found this helpful, do share forward.

Time to bust some psychology myths

There is a whole lot of Live Laugh Love pop-psychology bullsh*t out there. Time to bust some myths...

1. Myth: Don’t feed negative thoughts and they won’t grow.

Truth: The buildup of unthought thoughts and unfelt feelings is what causes most of our emotional struggles. Explore negative thoughts with a compassionate other. And stop telling people to silence themselves.

2. Myth: You should always strive for happiness!

Truth: Our culture fetishizes happiness. Like if we’re not happy in every single moment, we’re broken.

Happiness is an elevated state. We’re not meant to exist there all the time. Instead, strive for balance.

3. Myth: No one will love you until you learn to love yourself.

Truth: Nope. We learn to love ourselves through the love we receive from others, ideally starting with our caregivers.

Surround yourself with people who love you while you learn to love yourself.

4. Myth: You shouldn’t worry about what other people think of you. It only matters what you think of yourself.

Truth: We all care about what other people think of us, it’s the most human thing there is. Our relationship to ourself and to others both matter.

5. Myth: Depression is just a "chemical imbalance.”

Truth: Depression is a SYMPTOM & SIGNAL of underlying pain, unresolved issues, and unmet needs. Treating it as an isolated biological phenomenon further quiets an important request for support.

6. Myth: The past doesn’t matter. Look forward and keep moving.

Truth: Our past is the blueprint we build our present on.

We are a product of our experiences and circumstances and to change our future we need to understand (and often grieve) our past.

Difficult People

1. Expecting others to behave like him/her and if they don’t he/she starts hating them. For example some people are introverted in nature so they are bit shy and not so open but because he is an extrovert he wants the introverts to behave like him.

2. Hating others for no reason. Well you ask him why do you hate that person? his response “Well i don’t know”.

3. Someone who never wishes well for others and takes joy in seeing others suffering. For example you lost your phone in the taxi and instead of comforting you he/she starts laughing.

4. Someone who always think they are right and see other people as wrong. Such people are never cooperative and can frustrate you.

5. Difficult people give bad vibes whenever you interact with them. You can just feel it whenever you talk to them.

Treats those who are lower than him in social class, profession badly.

6. Lacks empathy for people and mistreats animals.

Difficult people are selfish. They have the mentality of “me” in everything because they think that the world revolves around them.

If people are always not feeling comfortable around you and rather not talk to you then you might be a difficult person.

7. Difficult people lack a sense of humor.

Most of the time they don’t laugh when people are making jokes. Even in group conversations they hardly smile nor laugh when people are having a good time.

8. Difficult people always make arguments. This is because they think they are right as i stated in (5). They always make arguments even on trivial matters.

9. They are never forgiving. They never let go of the wrong others have done to them in the past.

10. They never apologize. Its like you have to cajole them to apologize. That’s because of their ego.

A SILENT TRAGEDY

 

There is a silent tragedy that is unfolding today in our homes and concerns our most precious jewels: our children.

Our children are in a devastating emotional state! In the last 15 years, researchers have given us increasingly alarming statistics on a sharp and steady increase in childhood mental illness that is now reaching epidemic proportions:

Statistics do not lie:

• 1 in 5 children have mental health problems

• A 43% increase in diagnosed ADHD

• A 37% increase in adolescent depression has been noted

• There has been a 200% increase in the suicide rate in children aged 10 to 14

What is happening and what are we doing wrong?

Today's children are being over-stimulated and over-gifted with material objects, but they are deprived of the fundamentals of a healthy childhood, such as:

• Emotionally available parents

• Clearly defined limits

• Responsibilities

• Balanced nutrition and adequate sleep

• Movement in general but especially outdoors

• Creative play, social interaction, unstructured game opportunities and boredom spaces

Instead, in recent years, children have been filled with:

• Digitally distracted parents

• Indulgent and permissive parents who let children "rule the world" and whoever sets the rules

• A sense of right, of deserving everything without earning it or being responsible for obtaining it

• Inadequate sleep and unbalanced nutrition

• A sedentary lifestyle

• Endless stimulation, technological nannies, instant gratification and absence of boring moments

What to do?

If we want our children to be happy and healthy individuals, we have to wake up and get back to basics. It is still possible! Many families see immediate improvements after weeks of implementing the following recommendations:

• Set limits and remember that you are the captain of the ship. Your children will feel more confident knowing that you have control of the helm.

• Offer children a balanced lifestyle full of what children NEED, not just what they WANT. Don't be afraid to say "no" to your children if what they want is not what they need.

• Provide nutritious food and limit junk food.

• Spend at least one hour a day outdoors doing activities such as cycling, walking, fishing, bird/insect watching.

• Enjoy a daily family dinner without smartphones or distracting technology, let everyone feel valued.

• Play board games as a family or if children are very small for board games, just let the pretend to play it.

• Involve your children in some homework or household chores according to their age (folding clothes, hanging clothes, unpacking food, setting the table, feeding the dog, etc.)

• Implement a consistent sleep routine to ensure your child gets enough sleep. The schedules will be even more important for school-age children.

• Teach responsibility and independence. Do not overprotect them against all frustration or mistakes. Misunderstanding will help them build resilience and learn to overcome life's challenges.

• Do not carry your children's backpack, do not carry the homework they forgot, do not peel bananas or peel oranges if they can do it on their own (4-5 years). Instead of giving them the fish, teach them to fish.

• Teach them to wait and delay gratification.

• Provide opportunities for "boredom", since boredom is the moment when creativity awakens. Do not feel responsible for always keeping children entertained.

• Do not use technology as a cure for boredom, nor offer it at the first second of inactivity.

• Avoid using technology during meals, in cars, restaurants, shopping centers. Use these moments as opportunities to socialize by training the brains to know how to work when they are in mode: "boredom"

• Help them create a "bottle of boredom" with activity ideas for when they are bored.

• Be emotionally available to connect with children and teach them self-regulation and social skills.

• Turn off the phones at night when children have to go to bed to avoid digital distractions.

• Become a regulator or emotional trainer for your children. Teach them to recognize and manage their own frustrations and anger.

• Teach them to greet, to take turns, to share without running out of anything, to say thank you and please, to acknowledge the error and apologize (do not force them), be a model of all those values you instill.

• Connect emotionally - smile, hug, kiss, tickle, read, dance, jump, play or crawl with them.

Article written by Dr. Luis Rojas Marcos Psychiatrist.

#mentalhealth